Joy
by missdollyfox
Summary: Catherine learns a few interesting facts about Sara, but also about herself. Cath/Sara pairing. COMPLETE.


**Disclaimer:**** I don't own CSI; the show and its characters are owned by CBS and Alliance Atlantis.**

**A/N: WARNING: Pairing is Cath/Sara therefore femslash. Apologies for any English spellings or word choices. Many thanks to my other half dcmasters for beta reading.**

**This is my first CSI story so feedback would be greatly appreciated.**

**Joy**

Catherine Willows headed for the locker room. Her shift was officially over almost three hours previously but she'd been determined to see this particularly harrowing case through to the end. She caught a glimpse of herself in the window as she passed an empty lab. She lazily ran a hand through her hair which sat in natural waves on her shoulders. Leaning in to study her reflection closer she noticed the bags under her tired eyes and let out a sigh.

Catherine turned the corner by the locker room in time to hear an almighty crash followed by a grunt of frustration. Cautiously she peered her head around the door and saw a collection of belongings strewn across the floor emanating from a backpack with a broken strap. Sat on the bench in the center of the room was a deflated looking Sara Sidle, her head resting in her hands. Catherine moved so she was standing in the doorway and watched the young woman for a few moments.

"Tough shift huh." The blonde spoke quietly as to not startle her colleague.

"Every shift is tough in this job." Sara spoke monotonously, her gaze still on the ground.

Catherine nodded in silent agreement as she took a couple of steps into the room.

"Still, you didn't need to take it out on your backpack." She smiled a little as she attempted to inject a touch of humor into the tense atmosphere. Sara moved her hands to her lap but didn't look up.

"It just...it fell apart."

The sadness etched in the brunette's voice told Catherine that the simple statement stretched further than a broken bag. Catherine studied Sara intently. Her mouth was pulled down into a frown. Her shoulders were slumped. Her eyebrows were furrowed. Her chestnut eyes had lost their sparkle. Catherine felt a pang of sadness, her heart sinking to her stomach at the sight of her friend looking so dejected.

"Let's get this cleared up, shall we?" Catherine crouched down in front of the brunette so she was at eye level with her, gently placing her hand on her knee. Sara met Catherine's gaze for the first time, then looked to where Catherine's hand was placed, and nodded wordlessly.

Catherine knelt on the floor by the bag, around which the majority of Sara's belongings were scattered, and began putting the items back into it. Sara collected the few items that had strayed from that area, including a tube of mints that had somehow rolled right across the room, and added them to the backpack. Catherine picked up Sara's driver's license which was dangerously close to being lost underneath the row of lockers. She smirked a little at the photograph then something else caught her eye.

"Joy?" Catherine raised an eyebrow, a questioning but playful tone to her voice.

Sara looked over to see the blonde holding her driver's license, an amused expression adorning her features.

"Oh er...yeah." She stuttered. "Ironic huh? Joy by name but not necessarily by nature." She smiled faintly and Catherine couldn't help but chuckle. "All the middle names they could've given me and I get stuck with that."

"Oh I don't know, I think it's cute." Sara raised an eyebrow incredulously which earned another smirk from her co-worker.

With everything now back in its place, Catherine straightened herself up and brushed the dust from her knees. Sara thanked her colleague as she took the bag from her being mindful of the torn handle.

"Hey er...you wanna go for a coffee?" The words fell from Catherine's mouth before she had the chance to wonder what made her ask them. They may have gotten on well as colleagues but their friendship didn't normally extend beyond the workplace. But for some reason unknown to her, it felt right. Sara paused for a moment before responding.

"Make it something stronger and you're on." The ladies shared a smile.

"You've got yourself a deal."

Sara and Catherine were sat in a curved booth in a bar not far from the lab. Sara glanced over her surroundings. The Cloak Room was a classy establishment, especially considering its closeness to the gaudy Las Vegas Strip, and it boasted a friendly yet intimate atmosphere. The decor was modern and stylish and jazz music played softly over the speakers providing a comforting backdrop.

"What do you think?" Catherine asked, noticing Sara's wandering gaze.

"Huh?" Sara replied, still scanning the room.

"This place." Catherine took a quick sip of her drink. "You like it?"

"Yeah. It's nice." The brunette responded distractedly, returning her gaze to the table but never looking at her colleague. She slowly traced the rim of her glass with her index finger, her mind clearly elsewhere.

Catherine lightly drummed her fingers on the table, a sign of nervousness. She was used to the feisty, ambitious CSI who gave as good as she got, not the quiet, fragile shell of a woman in front of her. Catherine couldn't recall the number of times she'd clashed with Sara over her bolshy attitude; their fiery personalities caused friction on a regular basis; but right now she'd happily take that. Sara's lack of passion and the sadness in her eyes worried Catherine more than she'd care to admit.

"Same again?" Catherine held up her now empty glass. Sara hadn't quite finished her drink but Catherine was keen to break the awkward silence that had fallen upon them. Sara gave a slight nod in response. Catherine slid out from the booth and made her way to the bar.

As the blonde waited for service, she looked back at her drinking companion. Sara hadn't moved, her head still fixed downwards. If eyes really were the window to the soul, Catherine couldn't bear to think of the state of Sara's. As she continued to study the brunette, she felt a pang of emotion tugging on her heartstrings. The sensation surprised Catherine. She couldn't understand why she felt such an overwhelming desire to hold Sara in her arms and protect her from her inner demons.

A couple of hours and several drinks later and the pair had relaxed more into each other's company. A little of the spark that made Sara her had returned, encouraged by her alcohol intake. They'd began by discussing work then the conversation had moved on and Catherine was telling Sara all about her daughter, Lindsey's, latest antics. So far Sara had successfully managed to avoid revealing much about her own personal life but her superior wasn't going to let her get away that easily.

"So tell me about you." She probed.

"There's nothing to tell."

Catherine raised an eyebrow and took a swig of her drink.

"I want to know the real Sara, the person behind the kick-ass CSI." She said with a smirk.

"What do you want to know?" The brunette attempted to stall Catherine. Although she was enjoying spending time with her outside of work, she wasn't all too comfortable with disclosing details of her private life.

"Where are you from? Why Vegas? What are your hobbies? What do you get up to on the rare days you're not at the lab? Is there anyone special in your life?"

"It's no wonder your crime solve rate is so high if your interrogation technique is anything to go by." Sara gave a crooked smirk. "I'm originally from Tamales Bay, near San Francisco. I came to Vegas because Grissom asked for my help with the Holly Gribbs case. Like you said, I'm always working. When you enjoy your work you don't need hobbies." Sara answered the questions in order, deliberately skipping the last one, hoping she'd given Catherine enough information to sate her without answering that particular question.

"You missed one." Catherine kept her eyes focused on the brunette who was carefully thinking how to answer.

"Huh?" Not the most eloquent of responses, Sara thought to herself, but it bought her an extra few seconds.

"So there _is _someone special in your life?" Catherine teased. A wave of confusion washed over her as she felt a twang in her stomach which if she didn't know better, she'd describe as jealousy.

"No, no there isn't. Really, there's not. How would I have the time to meet someone when the lab is my life?" Sara felt a crimson blush hit her cheeks.

"You never heard of fishing from the office pool? We've all seen the way Greg drools over you." Catherine teased with a smirk which Sara couldn't help but return.

"Yeah, right. He'd be lucky." She laughed.

_'Yes, he would.' _Catherine thought to herself.

The drinks kept on flowing and Sara began to loosen up a little more in Catherine's company as the blonde continued to dig deeper, determined to uncover the enigma that was Sara Sidle.

"So what's it like? San Francisco, I mean."

"It's alright." Sara shrugged, slightly concerned about the direction which the conversation was headed. "Quieter than Vegas, that's for sure."

"Do your family still live there?" Catherine's smile faded as she saw the brunette's tense expression.

"Tamales Bay is an hour and a half from San Francisco." Sara answered a little angrier than she had intended to. After a few moments of silence, she looked up to see the hurt look on Catherine's face and sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bite your head off. It's just..." Sara contemplated what to say next. "I'm not going down that route, Catherine. Talking about family and stuff. I just can't do that right now. It's been a stressful day as it is."

Sara avoided her friend's confused and pitying look. Catherine desperately wanted to know what was so bad about Sara's past that it had affected her so deeply but she didn't want to risk upsetting her further or pushing her away. She was only just beginning to get closer to her and she couldn't bear the thought of destroying their gradually increasing bond.

Tentatively, Catherine placed her hand on top of Sara's, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"If you ever feel that you're ready to talk about it, you know where I am."

With her other hand Catherine absentmindedly moved a loose strand of hair away from Sara's face and tucked it behind her ear. Sara looked up at the unexpected touch, her eyes searching Catherine's, looking for any sign of whether her intentions were purely platonic or something more. The glimmer she saw in her cerulean blue orbs, combined with the feel of Catherine's soft skin against her own, caused her heart to beat faster and more forcefully in her chest.

Catherine broke the contact, overwhelmed by the jolt of electricity surging through her veins and shocked by the intense emotion she felt towards Sara. She was desperately trying to think of what to say next; or more how to dig herself out of the metaphorical hole she had put herself in; when she felt Sara reestablish the contact, gently placing her slightly trembling hand on top of hers.

"Another time. Thanks." Sara spoke quietly.

The two women shared a tender smile. Sara was touched by the blonde's genuine kindness. Catherine felt honored that Sara was even contemplating opening up to her considering their blossoming friendship was so new. She was also pleased that the brunette was counting on there being "another time".

Catherine began to shift, edging out of the booth.

"Are you going?" Sara looked hurt, her eyes resembling a puppy dog's. Catherine felt guilty that she'd caused that look, albeit unintentionally.

"No honey, just taking a trip to the bathroom. Won't be long."

The blonde walked to the bathroom as quickly as she could without causing suspicion. Once inside, she leaned against the row of basins and let out a deep breath that she hadn't realized she was holding. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror as a barrage of thoughts bombarded her.

Why did she care so much about Sara when they'd only just become friends? Why was she fighting back such a powerful urge to scoop her younger colleague into her arms and never let her go? Why was she beginning to notice just how beautiful Sara was – the contrast of her chocolate-brown hair against her silky pale skin, the sultriness of her deep Californian accent, how adorable her trademark gap-toothed grin was? Why had her pulse rate accelerated when they simply touched hands? And why the heck had she called Sara 'honey'?

Catherine splashed some cold water on her face as the realization dawned upon her. She was developing romantic feelings towards another woman. And not just any other woman; Sara Sidle. She shook her head in an attempt to expel these feelings.

'_You're straight. You have a daughter.' _She scolded herself. '_Besides she's a colleague, she's now a friend as well and she's...Sara.' _Her thoughts drifted back to her companion. _'Beautiful, incredible Sara.' _

Realizing that she'd left the table almost fifteen minutes ago, Catherine took another deep breath, checked her appearance and left the restroom. She was disappointed to find the booth empty, except for the array of empty glasses on the table. As she reached in her pocket for her cell phone, she heard a distinctive roar of laughter coming from the direction of the bar which she instantly recognized as Sara's. Catherine followed the laughter and saw her friend perched on a bar stool, an empty shot glass in her hand, engaging in friendly conversation with the bartender. Sara looked relaxed and the twinkle in her eyes had returned, most likely encouraged by the liquor she had consumed but she was a vision of beauty all the same, Catherine noted.

"Hey," Catherine graciously climbed on to the unoccupied stool next to the brunette. "You had me worried for a second there, I thought you'd ran out on me."

"I was beginning to think you'd ran out on me considering how long you took. You want a shot or the usual?" Sara responded without looking, trying to attract the bartender's attention.

"Not for me, thanks. I know my limits." Catherine noticed Sara's reactions were slower and she was beginning to slur her words just a little. "I think we've both had our fair share for the day. Two tap waters, please." She addressed the bartender.

Sara shot Catherine a glare. She knew she was probably right but she didn't appreciate people making decisions for her. She was infamous for having a problem with authority, regardless of the situation. She bit her tongue, not wanting to cause an argument with her colleague when their new found friendship was progressing so well.

"I can decide for myself if and when I've had enough to drink. But I appreciate you looking out for me. And seeing as our next shift starts in eight hours and neither of us has slept yet, I'll take the water." Sara gave a wry smile, taking a glass from Catherine and taking a sip.

"That's my girl."

Both Catherine and Sara's eyes widened. Sara was sure she felt her eyebrows meet her hairline. She continued to sip the water, avoiding eye contact with the blonde sat next to her, sporting a deer-in-the-headlights expression. Catherine opened and closed her mouth a few times as she thought about how to correct herself. Failing to think of anything to say, she sighed and dropped her gaze to her lap.

Sara pursed her lips in thought, watching her superior out of the corner of her eye. She turned to her suddenly.

"You know, I think I'm ready to talk about a couple of things, if the offer still stands."

Catherine looked up.

"Sure. Booth?"

Sara nodded and the pair climbed down from the stools, taking their glasses with them.

Catherine wordlessly sat back against the plush sofa, allowing Sara time to gather her thoughts.

Sara squeezed her eyes shut tightly whilst taking a few deep shaky breaths, attempting to calm her increasing nerves.

"What you said earlier," She began so abruptly that it caused Catherine to jump a little in her seat. She suppressed a smirk and continued.

"About there being someone special in my life. I think...I think maybe you could be right."

In that instant, Catherine could feel her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach, only serving to confirm her suspicions that she was indeed experiencing forbidden feelings for the brunette beauty at her side.

"Oh?" Catherine managed, trying her best to hide her disappointment.

"What was it you called it? 'Fishing from the office pool'?"

The blonde felt crushed. Not only was the object of her newly discovered affections interested in somebody else, it was somebody she knew and worked with.

"Gil." Catherine quietly stated rather than asked. You didn't need to be a scientist to see the chemistry between those two. "Does he know how you feel?"

Sara shook her head.

"If...this person does know how I feel about them, they're doing a damn good job convincing me they don't."

"Come on Sara, this is Gil we're talking about here. You can't do casual flirting and subtle hints with him. You have to spell it out." The blonde answered harshly, her frustration at her friend's confession evident.

"I never said it was Grissom, Catherine."

A list of names ran through Catherine's mind.

"Is it..."

Sara cut her off.

"I've never felt like this before. I've never been so ridiculously consumed with infatuation. All those corny cliches in books and films – butterflies in the stomach, first thing on your mind when you wake, last thing before you sleep – I thought they were all fiction, created by authors and playwrights. When I realized I was falling for somebody so far out of my reach that she may as well be on Mars, I discovered those cliches were very real."

Catherine lifted her head slowly, her eyes widening. Sara hadn't noticed her slip up – '_she' – _or if she had she was hiding it well. The blonde felt a flicker of excitement rise within her. Considering there were few females within the lab environment, she couldn't help but hope that she was the lucky lady who'd captured Sara Sidle's heart.

"Out of your reach?" Catherine asked tentatively. Sara sighed, taking a sip of water before answering.

"Let's just say...I've seen their type...and I'm not it."

Sara bit her lip and risked a glance at Catherine. Their eyes met, causing Sara's heart to leap and she looked away. In that split second, Catherine discovered everything she needed to know. The blonde had learned a lot about understanding body language in her previous occupation and she was reading Sara like an open book. The nervous way she held her bottom lip between her teeth, the blush adorning her cheeks, her eyes darkened with pure lust...

"You know," Catherine began in a low, husky tone. "I don't believe in having a 'type'."

She scooted closer to Sara.

"If you like somebody, the stats don't matter. Height, build, hair color, _gender..._it's all irrelevant."

Catherine and Sara were now sat inches apart, both women struggling with the close proximity. Catherine turned slightly to face Sara. She placed her hand on the other woman's cheek and gently turned her head so they were looking into each other's eyes.

"I _really_ think you should tell...this person...exactly how you feel." Catherine spoke in no more than a whisper, her lips tantalizingly close to Sara's.

"I was always told actions speak louder than words." Sara responded in an equally hushed tone, enjoying the feel of Catherine's shallow breath on her neck.

Sara bit the bullet and their lips met in a soft and sensual kiss. Catherine's hand slowly made a trail from Sara's cheek to her hair, causing the taller woman to shiver at her touch, and wrapped the locks around her slender fingers. She was rewarded with Sara's tongue licking her bottom lip, asking for access, which Catherine willingly granted. The sensation of their tongues clashing in a battle for dominance elicited moans from both women. Sara snaked both arms around the blonde's slim waist, pulling their bodies closer together. They stayed entwined, hands and mouths exploring passionately, for several minutes before they got to a point where they knew they wouldn't be able to stop if they carried on much longer and they reluctantly pulled apart.

Catherine rested her forehead against Sara's, gazing deep into her dark orbs. Sara blindly reached out and placed her hand over the blonde's as their breathing began to return to normal.

"Wow." Catherine breathed. "Now I see why they called you Joy..."


End file.
